Confusion Catagories:
High Street
For Confined Spaces
Transport Confusion
At Work
Over the phone
The Answerphone
Computers and Internet
Subtle and Sureal
Espionage
In Reply

Random Confusionism
Add your ideas
disclaimer
Confusion ¬ Transport Confusion
There are many ways one can confuse or bemuse ones fellow travellers. Specially in the UK, public transport is great for practising your confusion, at least, you have plenty of time to practise whilst waiting for the transport, and invariably plenty of time in delays whilst on it, and with a constant refresh of people, what better place for all those subtle brain addling actions you've just been waiting to try out.
Confusionisms
¿> Get Out [12345]
In the London underground or any other train that goes underground start muttering stuff like "They're all against me" and hitting your head screaming "GET OUT".
¿> Missing the bus [12345]
Sit on the bus until it gets to a stop (preferably a busy one), thank the driver and get off. Run off behind a tree, and when the last person is getting on the bus, run back and look relieved that you caught the bus before it left.
¿> Broken camera [12345]
Chose a suitable location to park your car. You are looking for somewhere well hidden facing onto a speed camera. I know there are loads of good places on the A5. As cars go past flash your headlights. Especially amusing with stupidly slow moving cars, and at night obviously.
¿> Bus Blocker [12345]
Sit on the floor of a bus - a clean part obviousely! REAL strange looks here!
¿> Heading for a crash [12345]
Leave notes on people cars under the wipers appologising for backing into them as you pulled out of your space. Watch when they return to their car as they search to find the damage.
¿> Politeness Gone Mad [1234]
This works best on a train but I suppose you could do it on a bus. Get a group of friends on a train, preferably when it is pretty empty. Look out for somebody who looks quite nervous and is sitting on their own. One person goes up to them and asks if they could sit in their seat, even though there are lots of empty seats. If they move keep doing this until they get really mad or get off. The results can be very amusing.
¿> Bus Love [1234]
Sit at a bus stop between two strangers. Look straight ahead and say, "My freind fancies you. That's right, the person sitting on the other side of me fancies you. This may seem strangee me talking to you without looking at you, but my freind is deaf, and i don't want him/her to realise I'm telling you this. I think it would be really nice if you made the first move." Then got on your bus and leave them to it.
¿> Bus worries [123]
Sit at the back of a bus, preferably on a route you won't have to take every day. Just before your stop suddenly jump up and shout, "DAMN!" and run down to the front of the bus and hammer away at the stop button, while mumbling some jargon about the "damn salmon," and swearing under your breath. When the bus does stop, calmly turn to the bus driver, thank him for the ride and give him 37p for his trouble. Turn to the other passengers and shout "I bet none of YOU will give him a tip!" and haughtily depart from the bus with your head held high.
¿> Snake in transit [123]
Travel on a train carrying a flimsy cardboard box with warning labels on saying 'Dangerous Snake In Transit'.
¿> Stop! [123]
With a rotating stop sign, of the sort that are used at short term road works, stand besides some road works and stop the traffic. Turn the sign around only to show that it says stop on both sides. Thus totally confusing the drivers.
¿> Speed Trap [123]
Stand at the side of the road pointing a hair dryer at cars and seeing how many slow down.
¿> Return Ticket [12]
Get on the bus and ask for a return ticket. When asked where to, reply 'Back here of course!'
Practical Jokes
Confusion ¬ contribute ¬ add to this catagory
¿>Submit Ideas Contribute to the quest for confusion by adding your own confusionisms, or practical jokes into the project database straight from the web.

spacer gif
The dave project cannot accept any resposibility for any comedy, humor (humour) or confusion that may or may not result from using the practical jokes, pranks, confusionisms and other ideas contained within this online database of madness produced by the dave project. The zany, weird, obscure, strange, or perhaps occaisionally sensible visual gags, jokes, pranks and other methods of confusion are added by the users, and no copyright is retained on individual ones, but the database itself is copyrighted, as is this site design. This paragraph is for layout and keyword purposes only. Ignore it :)