The high street is one of the premier locations for large scale confusion. No-where else do you have an ever changing audience of people ready to be totally bemused by obscure streat theatre. No-where else is there a constant flow of passers by, so perfect for walking up to and mentally confounding. And perhaps most importantly, no-where else are there so many shops to retreat into when the confusion gets to much. Yes, the high street really is, the place for Dave...?!

¿> Men In Black []
Go up to someone whilst wearing a MIB style suit. Hold a pen up to their eyes and press the end. When nothing happens hit it and try again. Then run off mumbling something about 'damn batteries'
¿> Spaghetti Bolognese []
Walk up to any random person in the street and ask them if they like spaghetti bolognese. When they give you a reply start backing off slowly while sniffing then shout 'Macaroni cheese' then run away.
¿> Macaroni cheese []
Walk up to any random person in the street and ask them if they like macoroni cheese. when they give you a reply shout 'macaroni cheese' and then run away.
¿> Madness!! []
Wearing a straight jacket walk along smiling at people and stopping them to ask if they will undo the buckles for you.
¿> REAL Fake Blood []
Mix together 1 tabs brown sauce, 1 tabs golden syrup and 2 capfuls of red colouring. Pour into small milk portion cups and when you bang them they will explode with the blood. Simply stage a fight, fall down and smash the thing in your palm for a really good "blood running down the arm" affect.
¿> Can I stop you for a minute...? []
Holding a clipboard under one arm as if carrying out a survey walk up to a member of the public and ask Can I stop you for a minute?. When they agree pause and look down at your watch for 60 seconds.
¿> Its for you! []
Pick up the telephone in a phone box mumble into it for a few seconds then open the door and hand the phone to someone passing by and say, 'It's for you'.
¿> Dave...? [the original confusionism] []
Walk up to someone in the street and looking up at them as if you think you recognise them, say, in a questioning tone, 'Dave...?'
¿> French Peasant []
Walk up to someone in a tourist information centre and ask "Can you direct me to the local elephant... I want to go fishing" in a convincing french accent.
¿> Oi You!! []
Stand at the top of your local high street and yell, 'OI YOU!!', at the top of your voice. See how many people turn round.
¿> Last Orders []
Walk around town late(ish) at night making it you duty to inform people that last orders are in 10 minutes.
¿> Pizza? []
Dressed as a waiter stroll around your local precinct carrying a plate of pizza. Stop passers by to ask them "Did you order this pizza?"
¿> So what are your views on acorns? []
Carry out a survey of the local populous to find out their views on Acorns!
¿> Oh Dear Me He Collapsed []
Sit in a seat / bench in the town. Slowly start going "UMMMMMMM" as if you are meditating. Then start slipping off the bench and then collapse on the street, still "UMMMMMING". Peaople will come to help you!
¿> Robbers! []
A friend sits on a bench downtown with a bag. You run up, hit him on the head (fake) and nick the bag. As you run shout "I'm bloody nicking it , inn'oi?!"
¿> thank you []
Go into Mcdonalds dressed as an athlete buy a big mac and then give a long winded acceptence speech thanking parents, cows, or anthing worth thanking
¿> French Taunter []
This works when you are visiting our neighbours across the pond. Go up to a bunch of likely looking lads and say, and your best froggy voice "ribbit". This is racist and silly. It's not big and it's not clever. The funny bit is when they turn around to look at you and put their hands by their head to make horns and say "Moooooo. Roast beef." This is extremely odd and makes them sound endearing. Laugh.
¿> Oysters! []
Stand at the top of a high street (not near where you live) and shout "OI" when everyone turns round, sing "...sters are cheap to today, cheaper than yesterday". This works equally well with "YOU... are my sunshine, my only sunshine," etc.
¿> Pixie Dust []
Walk up to anyone in the street with your finger and thumb pinched the rub them together on someones head and run of shouting pixiedust.
¿> Hi tony! []
When pëople you don't know cåll you on the phone and introduce themselves by name, reply 'Ah, ¥es, [Tony], I've been meaning to have a wôrd with you' (V/ Good for Salesmen Calling)
¿> Someones Sitting There..... []
When you see someone sitting on a step or kerbside walk up and sit down besides them and say, "Sorry, someone else is sitting there mate"
¿> Small(er) change? []
Ask people in the street if they have change for a penny.
¿> Excusez moi? []
In a dodgy french accent ask an upsuspecting passer by the way to the local elephant - claim that you want to go fishing.
¿> Smile :) []
Walk down the road wearing a black trench coat and stupid hat. Smile!

¿> Madman []
Walk down the street making weird noises with your mouth, and when people ask if your'e alright, talk with your mouth open
¿> Fake blood []
Get a friend and go down town. Go into a burger place and ask for 4 pkts of tomato ketchup. Yum! Open it SLIGHTLY, and slat a BLOB on your face/hands/wherever blood should be. Get your friend to then punch you down in the street and rub the sauce all over your face. Lie there for 2 mins then get up and run after ur mate.
¿> Bin Boy []
Cover your self in fake blood get in a clean wheelie bin make a small hole in it so you can see when people are coming. When someone comes about 10 meters away nudge the bin so it falls over make some moaning noises and crawl away .
¿> Waste of Money? []
Glue a £1 coin to the pavement and observe as passers by attempt to pick it up - especially effective if you are standing just round the corner with a pot of glue and a bag of coins.

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