Got admitted to this damn hospital just before Christmas, actually I was transferred from the loony bin in Dunfermline to this dump in the middle of nowhere, I guess its to stop people from running away as there’s nowhere to go.

Why am I here? You’d have to ask the doctor, if he ever appears, like gold-dust around here, of course if you were to slit your wrists or poke someone’s eye out with a fork, then they would all come running. I guess I must be mad after all it is a mad house. Isn’t it true that if you think you are mad then you’re not as real mad people aren’t capable of knowing that, if they are mad? Was that a barmy sentence or what! I was acting a bit out of the ordinary prior to my incarceration. Memory seems to get vague when I try to remember what I was doing. Graveyards at midnight seem to come into the picture though, strange.

Never been in a hospital like this before, its totally for crazy people, no surgery or day beds, unless you count the e.c.t. rooms. Zing zing, the electricity flows right through you. The wards are all really large with high ceilings; there are connecting corridors between every zone so people never have to go outside. It makes me feel like a guinea pig, running around in a hutch all day, never being free. There are acres of land surrounding us. Small paths have been made around the grounds so one can take a leisurely stroll on a sunny day. Gosh doesn’t that sound very pleasurable? This place does actually look like something from a horror film, maybe a lunatic asylum in Victorian times where all the patients rebel and go on a killing spree and take over the staff. Sounds like a good film.

The patients here are all right actually, I thought they’d be running around naked, cutting peoples hair off or be standing screaming at the windows. It was actually the peacefulness of the place that I first noticed. It’s all so quiet, is everybody drugged up? No, they’re not but most of them just feel too sick to do anything. There are hundreds of chairs scattered around the place. People slumped in them, like sacks of potatoes. The staff periodically wander round to check if everyone’s still alive. Great place.

Once when I went to use the bathroom, an old man came barging in, mumbling about the Nazi’s coming to get him. Boy did that freak me out. I thought most mad people were still on the outside.

It’s not such a bad place though, and it is very easy to make friends. People here seem to have no inhibitions; they will talk about anything and ask you anything they feel like. Suppose it must be quite liberating in a way.

Suppose I’d better be going now, I’m sure I hear my name being called…………..

"Nurse Baillie….nurse…come quickly!"


By Madcallie